Leaving off...

It’s been two day since my pig’s gone…

Never to be there again, I’ll guess I never hear the ever so familiar squeaks that echoed around the house in its crystal clear resonance again, nor see the amusing jaunts it once did. Suddenly, I just wished that it could be there for another week, another month so that I could recomposed my feeling; or maybe so that I don’t get to feel this outbreak of sadness over me; or at least not that feeling that it was still here or going to be there perhaps forever? Or maybe I just wished that it could be there forever?

Living things never last, do they? They all die out in the end and all that was left of them to remember by were the memories. The memories that were etched deep into the mind of that of another individual whether those did bring about happiness or sadness. You’re probably grieve because you knew that it would not be there to create more memories that made you smile, or probably it had once cheered you up, made you happy, laugh out loud, all those ever so nostalgic memories that seem to resurface now and again.

I was grouching to Hui Ting just now about this matter and she tried comforting me by telling me that she would get me another pig by Christmas which I blatantly reject.

I guess this second pig I’ve gotten never really get around to possessing the traits of the first one which I found so endearing, such as following me around, letting me cuddle it and climbing into my lap when it’s free from it’s cage. It could even do certain stunts like standing up on its hind legs to beg for its food which I found amusing. In fact, it got around to the point it doesn’t behave like a guinea pig anymore. It would do things like sit beside me in the open field while nibbling on the grass and scurry after me when I got up to walk off to another area. In fact, it was so smart it would even return back to its cage by itself, but sadly it died when it clamped its teeth between the cage bars and did not manage to retract it until we found out. By then, it was too late and a few hours later, it was dead. It had lived for less than a year…

Maybe the second one was bought more on impulse to replace the loss I felt and that I could probably experience the joy of getting another pet that behaves exactly like the first. I even chose one which had the closest colour combination to the one I’ve lost among the pile of wide-eyed lot staring at me.

Over time, I grew to love it just the same although I shun it at first and maybe even dad, who was never attached to such things love it for the things it does, such as the way it squeaked at him and such. I guess I grew to love the critter in another way, for another personality which was so totally different from the first.

Even if I did manage to get another replacement for the one I lost now, what would I have expected of the next? Yes, as I’ve maintain, we always expect too much from things and think of them as replaceable. Yet sooner or later, we will find that one can't replace another or even resume the character of the first we love so much.

It’s too painful to get a pet sometimes. You’re grow to love it and then one of these days have to accept the heart-wrenching fact that it will die out one day. The time you get to see its movements slowing down due to old age; the time when it just gave you that last weary look before continuing on its journey to another dimension.

It’s probably just a guinea pig, but it was there for 5 ½ years of my life and I guess I should be thankful for the times I get to laugh at its antics when I’m down. I probably would have never regret this decision of getting her again even if I knew it would meant another heartbreak later on, cause it’s still the beautiful memories that made things all so worthwhile afterall, I’ll guess. =)