Disappointment of sorts...

I walked out of my room at around 7am today and bumped into dad. He didn’t look as angry as I expect him to be, but I guess I can sense a hint of disappointment. We had a small discussion about my future plans and touched on some of the points on my repeated school absence.

I can sense his disappointment in me as we talked and I guess this was probably the worst thing I had done throughout the years to disappoint my parents to such an extent. I always seem to disappoint them time and again these days.

Dad finally accepts my explanation and the decision I have mapped out for myself, but I can sense something of sadness in him. I felt bad, seriously bad these days. I must have look ever so irresponsible with all these school missing, isn’t it? Missing school when I was supposed to be there for lessons, missing school when I was supposed to be there for projects??? Then those personal calls from the lecturers when I missed my exams? Doing everything supposedly wrong?

I guess I was already listed as one of those irresponsible project work mates now. *Bleah* Never present for anything I guess. Irresponsible student, irresponsible everything I guess, and great I love being irresponsible. You don’t even have to do anything now ei? Being responsible was such a great strain, making sure you did all your stuff on time, organizing this and that, and *blah blah* I guess after being responsible for so many years, you can finally afford to be irresponsible for once during your stink ass poly years and make everyone hates you.

GREAT! I just love being irresponsible! *Bleah* Everything just seems to be going wrong these days. I guess it’s too late to turn back now isn’t it? I just seem to be irritated at the mildest thing these days. Guess I will be attending school on a regular basis again, just frigging hate life, but I’ll guess this is the best I can do.

Blogging some other days, feeling trampled these days. Oh yea, let me repeat, I disappoint even the ants, I keep stamping on them till their juice oozes out, I’m a disgusting sucker in short.

Nuff’ said…